On Building Resilience
When Life Doesn’t Go to Plan
Do you ever wish life came with a “pause” button?
A way to stop the noise, slow things down, and catch your breath before facing whatever’s next?
Most of us do—especially in those times when everything feels like too much. And the truth is, life will throw difficult moments our way. Setbacks, uncertainty, exhaustion. No one gets to skip those chapters. But we do have something that helps us navigate them with a little more steadiness: resilience.
Resilience isn’t about being tough or unshakeable. It’s not about pushing through with a smile plastered on your face or pretending everything’s fine. It’s about finding ways to bend without breaking. It’s the quiet strength that helps us get back up—not immediately, but eventually. And to grow, even through the hard parts.
But resilience doesn’t just arrive on its own. Like anything worth having, it’s something we can build—slowly, deliberately, over time.
It often begins with something deceptively simple: acknowledging how we feel.
Because let’s be honest—some days are just hard. Days when you feel flat, anxious, disappointed, or lost. Resilience doesn’t mean skipping those feelings. It means letting yourself feel them without shame. Saying, “This is tough right now,” without turning it into a personal failure.
From there, resilience is shaped by the small things we do to care for ourselves—sleep, movement, fresh air, food, rest—and the even smaller things that bring us back to who we are: the book that calms us, the friend who listens, the moment of stillness between tasks.
It’s also built in connection—in choosing not to isolate when things get hard. Even just a simple message, a shared cup of tea, or a gentle “Can we talk?” can soften the edges of what we’re carrying.
Sometimes, resilience looks like helping someone else, even when you’re not sure you’re holding it together yourself. A kind gesture. A listening ear. A reminder that you're not alone, and neither are they.
And sometimes it means lowering the bar—focusing not on the whole mountain, but on the next small step. Doing what you can today, and letting that be enough.
Resilient people aren’t superhuman. They’re just willing to keep showing up, even when things don’t go to plan. They stay connected to what matters—purpose, values, meaning—even in the middle of the mess. They remember that the ability to adapt, to start again, to change course, is more valuable than any illusion of perfection.
They also practise gratitude, not as a way to ignore the hard stuff, but as a way to stay grounded in what’s still good. A warm drink. A moment of calm. A kind word. A breath that deepens and softens.
And they know when to ask for help.
There’s courage in saying, “I’m not okay on my own right now.” Whether that’s reaching out to a friend or working with a therapist or coach, seeking support doesn’t make you weak. It means you’re invested in your own wellbeing—and that’s one of the most resilient choices you can make.
You don’t have to get it all right. You don’t have to bounce back quickly. Resilience isn’t a race. It’s a practice.
And over time, with care and honesty and the right kind of support, you’ll likely discover that you’re stronger than you realised—not because nothing ever hurt you, but because you learned how to carry it without losing yourself.
